Starting Over
by Trapped in a MatchBox
Summary: Totally AU. Abby just moved to Chicago with her son after leaving her husband... She starts working at County and... well, u'll have to read to find out! reviews r appreciated.
1. Welcome to Chicago

Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing in this world. Because I certainly don't have a good life. I think that someone up there must think it's funny to mess with me. There's only one thing that makes my life worth living. I have a 5-year-old son. Jared. He's the only reason I get up every morning to face the world. I'd die if something happened to him. That's why I was afraid to leave my husband. He can ask for Jared's custody at any moment. And I know I can't live without my little boy.

My marriage. The biggest, stupidest mistake of my life. I met Richard in a party and I totally fell for him. Or at least that's what I made myself believe in. But after all these years, I see he's a worthless, good for nothing asshole. He's probably been cheating on me since day one. I thought that maybe with Jared in our lives, things would finally get on the right track. That maybe we would grow closer together and be a happy little family. But I should've known better. There's no such thing as happily ever after. I should've learned that by now.

So I left my husband and took Jared with me. I finally burst the bubble that surrounded me and made everyone think I had the perfect life. I came to Chicago and that's where home has been to me and my little boy for the past two weeks. We pretty much stayed home and got settled. I found a nice school for Jared and I found a job near it, at Cook County General Hospital.

Medicine. It's the only thing I love almost as much as I love my son. I save people's lives. I can make a difference. And I'm so proud of that. I am an ER doctor. It's a stressful job and I get a really crappy pay but I love it. Being a doctor is the only thing I'm really good at. I wouldn't trade it for any other career.

Today is Jared's first day at school. I wake up early, take a quick shower, get dressed and head off to the kitchen to make our breakfast. Then I check his backpack to make sure he's got everything he might need before I wake him.

I enter his room and lean against the doorframe watching my little angel sleep. He looks so peaceful with his brown hair falling over his eyes. I go up to him and sit on the edge of his bed.

"Angel, it's time to wake up." I say brushing his hair out of his eyes. He mumbles something but doesn't wake up. "C'mon, Jared. If you don't wake up now you're going to be late for school." This time he wakes up and yawns.

"Do I have to go to school today, mommy?" he asks looking up at me.

"Yes, honey."

"But I wanna stay with you. I don't wanna go to this new school." He says looking down and his little hands.

"You'll like your new school, Jared. You're going to make lots of new friends and play a lot. And I have to go to work." I say kissing his forehead.

"Ok." He says defeated. "Can we go to McDonald's after school then?" he asks excited. I smile at him and ruffle his hair.

"We'll see, angel. Now get up." I say pulling his blanket.

"Mom!" he protests.

"What?" I reply in the same tone. "Go! Shower!" I say shooing him to the bathroom.

I just dropped Jared off at school. He was pretty scared of having to face this new school alone. He begged me to stay but his teacher finally convinced him to enter the classroom and meet his classmates. It broke my heart to see him so scared but he has to get used to his school and he has to do it on his own.

So here I am standing right in front of Cook County General Hospital. Today's my first day. And I have to admit I'm a little nervous. What if they don't like me here? It takes me a few seconds to realize I've been standing in the same spot for the past five minutes, just staring at the building. I finally pull myself together, take a deep breath and go in.

Once I'm inside the hospital, my eyes meet a flurry of activity. Doctors and nurses working, patients complaining, kids crying. The usual for an Emergency Department. I go to the front desk where a blonde woman is. From the blue coat she's wearing I guess she's either a nurse or a desk clerk.

"Excuse me." I say when I approach the desk. She looks up at me.

"How can I help you?" she says writing something on a chart.

"I'm looking for the Chief of the ER. My name's Abby Lockhart. I'm supposed to start today." I say.

"Oh, you're the new attending?" she asks with a friendly smile. I nod. "Nice to meet you." She says pushing the button to let me in. "I'm Sam." We shake hands.

"Nice to meet you too, Sam." I say smiling.

"Let's go find Dr Lewis. She's the chief of the ER."

"What's she like? Is she strict or something?" I ask. It'd be nice to have a heads up about my new boss.

"Oh, no. Susan's great. You'll like her." She says. "Hey, Jerry! Have you seen Dr Lewis?" she calls out to a guy.

"Try Trauma 2!" he calls back.

"Ok, thanks." She calls then turns to me. "That's Jerry, by the way. He's one of the desk clerks. I'll introduce you to everyone after you talk to Susan."

"Ok, great." I say.

"So where were you working before?"

"Oh, I lived in Minnesota. We just moved here a couple of weeks ago."

"Welcome to Chicago." She says with a smile. "Are you liking it here so far?"

"Yeah, it's a great city."

"There she is." Sam says as we enter a room. A patient is being wheeled out. A blonde doctor is taking off her dirty gloves and gown. "Susan." She calls making the doctor look at us. "This is Dr Lockhart, the new attending."

"Please, call me Abby." I say. Dr Lewis hands out her hand and I shake it.

"Hi, I'm Susan Lewis. Welcome to the County staff." She says smiling. "Has Sam given you the ER tour yet?" she asks.

"Nope." I say.

"We were looking for you." Sam explains.

"Then what are we waiting for? First let's drop your things off in the lounge, then..."

And that's the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I like it here already. Let my life at County General begin!

A/N: You see that little button down here? I know it's just calling your name! lol please review and tell me what you think. Please?


	2. Dr Carter

A/N: sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. But school's driving me crazy! So here it is chapter 2. Thank u so much for your reviews on the first chapter. You guys rock. Can you review this one here too? C'mon, u know u want to! lol

Starting Over

Chapter 2

"Is this your new hospital, mommy?" Jared asks when we arrive at County.

He was just telling me how his first day of school was and how he made new friends. I love to see that he's excited about this new reality.

"Yeah, baby" I say hugging his small body to mine.

"Are you liking it here?" he asks looking up at me with his chocolate brown eyes.

"So far, yeah." I say making my way to admit where Dr Lewis and Sam are talking. "Hey, guys." I say.

"Hey." They say. "What's up?" Sam asks.

"What floor is daycare on?" I ask. "I have to take my kid there." That what happens when you don't find a baby sitter in time.

"Oh, is that your son?" Dr Lewis asks. I nod. "Hi, there, little guy. What's your name?" she asks smiling. Jared hugs me and hides his face. I smile down at him.

"C'mon, honey, tell them your name." I say trying to encourage him. "This is Dr Lewis and this is Sam. They work here with me." Jared turns a little so his face is still half hidden.

"Hi." He says shyly. Is my baby adorable or what? Dr Lewis and Sam seem to think so by the looks on their faces.

"Hey." Sam says kneeling down to his height. "Do you like lollipops?" He nods. Sam looks up at me. I nod my head telling her it's ok. "Do you want one?" Jared nods excited. Amazing how kids change at the mere possibility of getting some candy. "Only if you tell me your name." she says winking at him. He gives her a small smile.

"I'm Jared. Nice to meet you." He says. What happened to his shyness? Sam hands him a lollipop.

"Nice to meet you too, Jared." Sam says. "Dr Lockhart, he's adorable!"

"Thank you." I say smiling proud of my little angel. "And call me Abby, Sam, I already told you that." I grin at her.

"How old are you, Jared?" Dr Lewis asks.

"I'm five but I'm gonna be six years old next month!" he says proudly.

"Really?" Dr Lewis asks. He nods enthusiastically. "Wow, you're a big boy!" she says as Jared gives her his million-dollar smile.

"Thanks." He says. "Today was my first day at my new school." Jared says excited to tell them all about his new friends. I smile at my little boy picking him up so he can sit at the desk.

"Can you guys watch him for a minute while I put my stuff in the lounge?" I ask.

"Sure." Dr Lewis says then turns back to Jared giving him her full attention.

I like it here so far. The hospital is ok, the staff is great. They're all treating me really nicely, like I'm part of the family. They're all great, especially Dr Lewis and Sam. They've stood by me, showing me around, introducing me to everyone. I like them already. Hope we'll be great friends.

I leave the lounge to see that Dr Lewis, Sam and Jared have company. A tall doctor, nice built, brown hair, and as far as I can see, brown eyes. He's cute. And he's laughing at some story Jared is telling.

"Hey, Abby." Dr Lewis says as I approach them. "This is Dr John Carter, one of our attendings. Carter, this is Dr Abby Lockhart, Jared's mom." She introduces us. "And today's her first day here." Dr Carter smiles warmly at me. Ok, he's more than cute. He's hot!

"Nice to meet you, Dr Lockhart." He says. I can't help but smile back.

"Nice to meet you too, Dr Carter. And please call me Abby." I say.

"Ok, Abby. You can call me Carter. Or John if you prefer." He says looking into my eyes. I keep smiling as I nod.

"Abby doesn't like formalities." Sam says grinning at me.

"Is that so?" He asks.

"Yep." I say.

"Mom, am I still going to daycare?" Jared asks.

"Yes, honey, in a minute." I say. "What floor is daycare on again?"

"Fifth." Dr Lewis says.

"Carter, we need you in here!" one of the nurses yells.

"Coming!" he yells back. "It was really nice meeting you, Abby. And you, Jared."

"You too." I say giving him a small smile.

"See ya, Dr Carter." Jared says.

"Bye, Jared." He says running to the trauma room.

"Someone's got a crush." Sam says in a sing song voice.

"What?" When in a doubt, play dumb.

"You should see the look on your face when you were talking to him." Dr Lewis says.

"Dr Lewis!" I say, a tinge of red coming up to my cheeks.

"Susan, Abby." She says laughing at me.

"Susan, right. I have to take Jared to daycare. Thanks for watching him." I say trying to get out of this conversation as fast as possible.

"It was our pleasure." Sam says. "Bye, Jared."

"Bye, Aunt Sam. Bye, Aunt Susan." He says. I guess they're getting along pretty well.

"Bye, Jar." Susan says. We start walking to the elevators. "Hey, Abby?" I turn around. "Just so you know, he's single at the moment." She says winking at me. I can feel myself blushing again.

"Oh, shut up!" I say entering the elevator with Jared. Sam and Susan's laughter echoing through the halls.


	3. The Party part I

A/N: wow, another chapter in less than a week! I'm proud of myself! lol. Thanks a lot for ur reviews! The really make my day a whole lot better! You guys rock! Pls review this one too? Pls?

* * *

Starting Over

Chapter 3

As the days go by, I find myself falling into a routine. I love working at County. Jared loves his new school and his new friends. Our lives are slowly returning to normal.

Sam, Susan and I have become great friends. They've been wonderful, baby-sitting when I have to take a shift, and our occasional girl's night out are really fun. I think I'm finally happy with my life.

Right now I'm on my break, so here I am up on the roof looking at the city below me. I'm in the middle of a double shift and I'm so tired. And to make things even worse, tomorrow is Jared's birthday and I'll have to look presentable. Thank God his birthday party is only on Saturday so I still have two days to get everything ready.

I'm pulled back to reality as I hear the door opening and someone's steps coming towards me. The smell of coffee fills my nostrils as a cup appears in front of me.

"Thought you needed one of those." I turn to him grabbing the cup of coffee and taking a sip. He's smiling at me.

"Thanks, Carter." I say giving him a small smile. "I really needed that.

"Hey, my pleasure." He says. "What are you doing up here all alone?"

"Hiding." I say grinning at him. He lifts his eyebrows at me grinning back. "And thinking." I add.

"About?"

"Tomorrow is Jared's birthday." I say looking out to the city. "His father will come here." I take another sip of my coffee before continuing. "And I don't think I'm ready for that."

"Seeing him again?" John asks.

I nod. "And I'm still halfway through a double. I'll be dead tired tomorrow."

"Why don't you go home? I'll cover for you."

"I can't do this to you." I say shaking my head.

"Yes, you can. Go stay with your son. Don't worry." This man is heaven sent. I smile thankfully at him.

"How can I make it up to you?"

"How about you and Jared come by my house on Sunday and we can hang out by the pool? What do you think?" He suggests.

"Sure, I'd love to. Call me to tell me the best time to come by." I say writing my number on a piece of paper.

"Alright." I hand him my number. "See you guys on Sunday."

"Thanks, John. You're a life savior." He smiles. I stand up on my tip toe and kiss his cheek. I'm not sure if it's appropriate but it was an impulse.

I open the door but before going into the building to go down to the ER, I look back and see a scene that brings a smile to my face. Carter is lost in his own thoughts with his hand on the spot where I had kissed him just a few seconds before.

* * *

The early morning rays of light pass through my window reaching my eyelids. I blink a few times to adjust my eyes to the brightness of the day, sitting up in my bed. Looking at the clock, the red numbers inform me that I still have a few hours to sleep. It's Saturday, I'm not on and it's only 7:30 in the morning. 

I rest my head back on my pillow and close my eyes for a few minutes when a thought crosses my mind. Shit. Today is Jared's party. Susan and Sam will come over to help me with everything. So I have to get up. I can't sleep in. Damn. I'm so tired.

Making my way to the bathroom, I brush my teeth; take a shower to look somewhat presentable and go down to the kitchen to make some coffee. I'll need lots of it to get through this day. But even though I'm tired, it's worth it. Jared is so excited about his party. It's all he's talked about for the past two weeks. Just seeing a smile on my baby's face and knowing that he's happy and having fun makes everything worth it. Even Richard's presence. He couldn't make it on Thursday so he said he said he'd come for the party. I wish he didn't come at all. But at least my friends will be here. Susan will come with her husband Chuck and her baby girl Jordan. Sam is coming with Luka and her son Alex. And John is coming too. He's been so sweet to me. I'm really looking forward to hang out with him tomorrow. He's a great guy.

* * *

The hours have flown by and before I know it, the kids are arriving and the party gets started in a blink of eyes. Children's laughter and shouts fill the house. Jared looks so happy running with his friend in the backyard. Sam and Susan arrive together with Luka and Chuck and their kids. Alex is a little older than the other kids but he soon joins in the game with them. He and Jared get along great. Jared absolutely loves him, looking up to him as an older brother. It's amazing how well they hit it off.

I'm laughing with my friends when the bell rings. Jared runs to get the door. I turn around to see who it is.

"Hi, dad." Jared says not so excited. He and Richard never got along too well. Things were always so formal between them it's almost freaky.

"Happy birthday, son." Richard says. No hugs, no kisses, no nothing. It's like they're complete strangers, not father and son.

I come to rescue Jared. "Hi, Richard." I say quietly. Why did he have to come? Because he's your son's father, that's why, I keep telling myself.

"Hey, Ab." He leans down to kiss me but I turn away and his lips meet nothing but air. He glares at me. "How are you?"

My life's great now that you're not in it, I feel like saying. But I control my mouth and settle for "I'm fine, thanks." I turn around to go back to my friends but Richard follows me so I have to introduce him to everyone. Susan and Sam don't look too pleased to meet him because I told them what my life was like when I was married to Richard.

We get on with our conversation, Richard feeling a little uncomfortable, I can tell. A few minutes later, the bell rings again. Jared runs to open the door.

"Dr Carter!" I hear him exclaim. A smile comes to my face immediately. What the hell is happening to me?

"Happy birthday, Jar." I hear him say. I turn around to see them making there way to us. Jared clinging to John's neck, legs wrapped around his waist. "Hey, guys." He says putting Jared down. Then he leans down and kisses my cheek. I blush slightly and look up to see Sam and Susan smirking at me. I choose to ignore them, turning to John.

"Took you long enough. I thought you weren't coming anymore." I say nudging him lightly. He smiles at me.

"And miss my buddy's birthday party? No way in hell!" he says ruffling Jared's hair who's busy unwrapping Carter's present.

"Oh, my God!" he yells when his present is revealed. "Xbox!!!" he yells again and jumps on John hugging him tightly. "Thank you so much, Dr Carter!" I look at Carter.

"John, you didn't have to. That's too expensive." I say. I can't believe he spent all that money on my kid.

"It's no problem, Abby. He's happy isn't he? That's all that matters." I could kiss him right now. Seriously. How can he be so sweet?

Richard clears his throat, making his presence known. I had forgotten for a moment that he was here. John has this kind of effect on me. I turn to him and give him a glare.

"Richard, this is Dr John Carter, a friend of mine. John, this is Richard Lockhart, Jared's dad and my ex-husband." I introduce them. They look at each other up and down glaring at each other all the while, then they shake hands.

"Nice to meet you." John says politely. Richard only nods. Bastard. A 'nice to meet you too' would've been nice. I rolls my eyes at John annoyed by Richard's actions. He just smiles at me and when everybody's returned to their conversation, he leans down and whispers in my ear.

"Don't let him get to you." His breath tingling on my neck. I have the urge to turn and kiss him but I control myself.

He's driving me crazy and I've only known him for a month! Why does he have this power over me?

* * *


	4. The Party part II

A/N: here's chapter 4. thx a lot for all ur awesome reviews! You guys have no idea how happy they make me. and just so you know, I have no idea where this story is going. It's kinda writing itself. Now on with it. Have fun.

* * *

Starting Over

Chapter 4

The party is going pretty well. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun. Jared's friends start to leave and soon there are only the grown-ups, Jared and Alex. John is playing with the kids, getting his ass kicked at Xbox while we laugh at him. I mean, he's losing to a 6-year old. Although I have the impression that he's just letting Jared win. Either that or he just sucks at this game. But it's still pretty funny. Every time he loses he makes all this funny faces like it's the end of the world or something. I didn't know he could be such a drama queen. Jared is having the time of his life.

Richard has barely said anything the whole party. He's just standing here, glaring at John. Is he jealous? Well, if he is, it's his damn problem. Besides, he has nothing to be jealous of. It's not like John and I are having an illicit affair or something. I guess he just thinks he still has, I don't know, some sort of power over me, like I'm his property.

He finally gets up and announces he's leaving. Thank God. I walk him to the door but only because I'm polite, otherwise I would've let him to find his way out on his own. Mean, I know. But after all I've put up with him for the past seven years, this is way more than what he really deserves.

Once we get to the door he turns to me. "Who the hell is that guy?" he asks in a tone that he probably think is threatening. I lift my eyebrows at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"That Dr Carter. Who the hell is he?" he asks in the same tone as before.

"Not that it's any of your concern, but he's a friend from work." I say glaring at him.

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"What?!" I ask surprised. "No! And even if I was, it's none of your god damn business!" How can he even ask something like that?

"Of course it's my business! You're my wife!" I laugh out loud when he says that.

"I'm your EX-wife, Richard. And what I do with my life only concerns me." I say coldly.

"Don't say that, Abby. I know you still love me, you still want me." I look incredulously at him.

"What are you talking about?" He comes closer to me, leaning down. "Richard, what the..." then he kisses me. Son of a bitch! Who the hell does he think he is? He tries to get entrance to my mouth with his tongue but I push him away from me. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I say disgusted and slap him across the face.

"What's going on here?" I hear John's voice. I turn to him. He looks worried.

"Nothing, John. This asshole here is just leaving." I say. He looks at me concerned. I turn to Richard. "Don't ever come here again. Now leave."

"Jared is my son." Richard says. I laugh at his face.

"You never gave a damn about him. He's MY son. Go. Away." I say, my voice stony cold.

"Didn't you what she said?" John says. "Leave! She doesn't want you here."

"Bye, Richard."

I push him out of the house and shut the door, leaning against it. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath to calm myself and prevent the tears that are gathering in my eyes from falling. Bastard. How could he do this? In my house, nonetheless.

"Are you ok? John asks gently touching my arm. I open my eyes and look straight at his. A lonely tear runs down my cheek. He brushes it away with his thumb.

"Sorry you had to see that that." I say feeling embarrassed. He shakes his head.

"Good thing that I saw it. He could've done something to you." He says gently pulling me to a hug.

"I can't believe he had the nerve to try and kiss me! Bastard." I say more to myself than to John. I wrap my arms around his waist resting my head on his chest. The tears running freely now on my cheeks.

"Don't let him get to you. It's what he wants. Don't let him win." He says running his hands on my back to comfort me.

We stay like that for a while, neither of us willing to move. Or at least I don't feel like moving. I don't know about him, but this feels so good, just holding each other. After a few minutes, I look up at him.

"Thank you, John." I say giving him a small smile. He kisses the top of my head.

"You're welcome." He says and I detach myself from him.

"Sorry about this." I say gesturing to my puffy eyes. He smiles.

"It's ok. Don't worry." He says putting an arm around my shoulders, leading me back into the house. "You know I'm here for you if you ever need anything, right?" I nod smiling.

"But still, thanks again." He just smiles at me. "You go ahead. I'll go to the washroom to make myself a little more presentable." He chuckles and turns to the living room. "Hey, John?" he looks at me. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about what happened."

He reaches out and takes my hand in his giving it a reassuring squeeze. Electricity runs through my body like every time he touches me.

"Don't worry, Ab." He says and makes his way to the living room.

I just stand there amazed. Can someone please tell me again what I did to deserve this man in my life?

* * *


	5. Getting To Know You

A/N: wow, longest chapter yet. Thank you for ur wonderful reviews...

**Chapter 5 – Getting to know you**

"Mommy?"

I feel a pair of little hands shaking me awake. I open my eyes slowly, fighting the will to just go back to sleep. I see Jared on his pajamas looking intently at me. I blink a few times trying to adjust my eyes to the brightness of the light.

"Mom, are you awake?" he whispers as if trying not to disturb anyone.

"Yeah, baby." I say pulling him to me, making him lie down next to me. "What is it?" I ask kissing the top of his head, hugging his small body closer to mine.

"Are we going to Dr Carter's today?" he asks, his eyes filled with excitement.

"Do you want to go?" I ask with a smile. He nods excited. "Then we're going."

"Cool!" He exclaims happily. "Can we go now?"

"Jar, it's" I look over to the clock on my bedside table. "only 8 am. Dr Carter is probably sleeping." I say he looks down disappointed. "It's too early, honey. We'll go later."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Ok, great!" he says. After a while I look over to see he's asleep. Knowing that my son is safe in my arms, I allow myself to fall back to sleep.

* * *

The voice coming from the radio informs me that it's 2 pm in Chicago. Jared and I are on our way to John's house. It's a bright sunny day, that kind of day that we have to enjoy every second of it before the ice cold Chicago winter hits in.

I stop in front of what should be John's house and check the address to see if I got the right place. I look at the house in front of us again then double check the paper. Yep, we got the right address but this can't be right. This is not a house. It's a freaking palace, for God's sake!

I push the intercom button. "Carter residence." A voice says.

"Yeah, I'm here to see Dr John Carter." I say.

"Your name?"

"Dr Abby Lockhart."

"Please wait."

"Ok." I say and look back at Jared who's staring in awe at the mansion.

"Wow." He says amazed. I chuckle at his reaction.

"Ok, Dr Lockhart, you may enter." The voice says and the gate opens.

"Thank you." I say driving into the Carter Mansion's grounds. It has a beautiful garden and place is just huge!

I drive up to the mansion's entrance and find John waiting for us. Jared opens the car door and runs to him.

"Hi, Dr Carter!" he says excited. John picks him up and swings him in the air. Jared's laughter fills the grounds.

"Hey there, kiddo." John says putting him down. "Hey, Abby." He leans down and kisses my cheek.

"Hi. You kinda forgot to tell me that you live in a castle." I say grinning at him. He winks at me.

"Details, details..." He says picking Jared up again and putting him on his shoulders. "Hold tight there, Jared." He secures Jared with one hand and reaches out the other to me. "Come on." I take his hand and he gives my hand a light squeeze.

"We go in the house and I am marveled at how beautiful everything is. John looks at my amazed face and laughs.

"Do you like it?" he asks.

"It's beautiful." I say looking around trying to take it all in.

"It's huge!" Jared says making John and I laugh.

"Do you like it, Jar?" John asks.

"Yeah, it's cool!" Jared says.

"I'm glad you think so." John says then turns to me. "Do you want the grand tour?"

"Do you think we'll have enough time?" I ask smirking. He grins.

"I hope so." I smile at him. I can't stop smiling. And I just realized we're still holding hands. This time I give his hand a light squeeze making him smile. "If not, we can always finish it next time."

"In that case, sure, let's go." I say and John pulls me with him as we start my first tour of the Carter Mansion.

* * *

"How long were you married for?" John asks. We're sitting near the pool watching Jared play.

"Almost eight years." I say.

"Really?" He looks surprised. I nod.

"Insane, I know." I chuckle. He smiles. "I only got pregnant two years into marriage. And that was the only good thing that came out of this whole mess."

"What happened?"

"I don't know. In the beginning everything was wonderful. We were completely in love with each other. Now I wonder how I could ever love that piece of shit." I say shaking my head. I really don't know what I was thinking then. "After the first couple of years we started to slowly grow apart. Then I got pregnant with Jared. I was so happy. I had always wanted to be a mom. I thought that with a baby on the way, things would get better. I thought we would finally find our way back to each other. But I was totally wrong." John takes my hand in his encouraging me to go on. "Richard never wanted kids. After Jared was born, and even before that, he would spend all day out of the house, with other women probably. And on the rare occasions he was home and I was asleep or busy or whatever, and Jared started crying, he would just let him cry and not do anything. I mean, what kind of father does that to his own child? He never gave a damn about his son. I had to raise Jared all on my own. But Jared was the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Why is that?" John asks. He is rubbing his thumb over my hand. I look up at him.

"He's my strength. I can't imagine my life without him." I say thinking if I should say what's going through my head. "I'm an alcoholic. I used to drink to forget all my problems. I hated my life. But when Jared came, everything changed. I was responsible for a child's life now. How would I take care of a baby if I was drunk?"

"I guess it wouldn't go too well." He says with a small smile. I nod.

"I decided to get help. So I started to attend AA meetings."

"So you've been sober for six years now?"

"Pretty much. That way I could be a good mother that my baby deserves. I'm always there for him, even if his bastard of father isn't."

"Well, you're a great mother. Jared absolutely loves you." I smile. "You've made it. He's a wonderful kid."

"Thank you." I say blushing slightly. "So how about you?"

"What about me?" I lift my eyebrow at him.

"C'mon, John. I just poured my heart out to you here. Now it's your turn." I say grinning.

"Ok, what do you want to know?"

"Anything." He thinks for a while before talking again.

"I lost my brother when I was 11. He had leukemia. And after he died, my parents kinda forgot I was still here, that I was hurting too and that I needed my mom and dad with me." I look down at our hands and realize they're still clasped together. I really don't know what's going on here but I decide to give him the same treatment by rubbing my thumb gently over his hand. "My grandparents raised me from then on, because my parents were always somewhere else. I grew up in this house, full of butlers and servants. One day I realized that most people weren't living like that. That life wasn't just about attending galas. So I ran from it all. I decided to be a doctor. I wanted to help people since I couldn't help my brother when he needed me." He smiles sadly. I smile back. I want him to know that he can trust me, that I'm here for him. "My family never approved of my career choice."

"But you like being a doctor."

"I do, more than anything. Medicine is my life."

"Same here. I think medicine is the only thing I love almost as much as I love my son."

"That's why you're a great doctor."

"Why, thank you, Dr Carter. You're an excellent doctor yourself." I say smiling.

"Mom?" Jared comes to us dripping wet from the pool. I grab a towel to dry him off.

"Yeah, baby?" I say.

"I'm hungry."

"Why don't we order a pizza?" John suggests. I shake my head.

"No, we're going home. We've already bothered you all day." I say.

"Abby, you never bother me." he says and I feel myself blushing. "C'mon, we can eat pizza and watch a movie or something."

"Let's stay, mommy. Please?" Jared says.

"Yeah, mom, please." John says grinning at me. I smile at them.

"How can I say no to that?" I say defeated.

"Yeah!" they high five each other. I roll my eyes at John.

"Are you sure it's no problem?" I ask. I don't want him to invite us to stay longer just out of obligation.

"Of course I am, Ab! Just relax. We'll have fun." He says pulling me up so we can go inside. Jared is running to the house. John runs after him and picks him up, tickling him.

I smile at this scene. Maybe this is what my life would be if I was married to John. Whoa! Wait a minute! Marriage? I think I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. I mean, we're not even dating. But there's definitely something there. We have this chemistry. I wonder if he feels the same way...


	6. It was too good to be true

A/N: I'm sorry I took so long to update but it took me forever to write this chapter. I had this major writer's block but this morning that lil light bulb went on in my head and I think I finally know where this is going. Pls review and tell me what you think.

**Chapter 6 – It was too good to be true**

Yesterday was certainly interesting to say the least. John is a really great guy and Jared and I had the best time with him at the mansion. Jared had the time of his life playing in that gigantic pool. He absolutely adores John and I think it's great that my son has a good male figure to look up to. Despite that Richard incident on Saturday we had a great weekend.

I'm on my way to County right now after dropping Jared off at school. I park my car and decide to make a quick pit stop at Ike's to get a cup of coffee. I make my way to the counter and order my coffee. I'm searching for money in my purse when I hear someone whispering in my ear.

"Morning." I turn around and find John Carter standing in front of me with a cup of coffee in hand. A smile immediately appears on my face.

"Good Morning, Dr Carter." I say. He smiles.

"Did you get home ok last night?" he asks.

"Yeah, thanks for inviting us, John. We had a great time." I say.

"So did I. You and Jared are welcome to come by whenever you want."

"Here it is ma'am." The waitress says giving me my coffee.

"I'll take it." John says handing her the money.

"John, I got it. You don't have to do this."

"C'mon, Ab, it's just a cup of coffee. I insist."

"John..."

"I won't take no for an answer." He says and I give up. "Keep the change." He tells the waitress. "C'mon, we're already late. Weaver must be out to get us."

Ok, is this guy the sweetest or what?? Paying for my coffee and everything. I shouldn't be feeling this, you know. But there's something about him. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but there's something that just drowns me to him.

* * *

The hours pass by me so fast and before I know it it's time to go home. The day just got away from me and I didn't even realize it. And this wasn't even a hectic shift or anything. It was pretty slow today. But I spent it dodging Susan and Sam because they just can't wait to give me the third degree about yesterday. They're convinced that Carter and I have feelings for each other. Well, that's partly true. I have feelings for John. At least I think I do. Everything's just so confusing in my life right now.

I open my locker to put my lab coat in and my purse and my jacket out. My eyes spot this picture of Jared and I on a snowy day. I'm distracted remembering this day when the sound of the door being shut brings me back to reality. I turn around to see who it is. Damn. It's Susan. Busted.

"Hey, Ab." She says with a grin putting her stethoscope on the table.

"Hi." I say knowing what's coming next.

"I heard you, Carter and Jared had a great time yesterday." She says grinning wider. Totally predictable.

"Yep. How did you know?" I ask. I didn't tell her anything about yesterday. Only if John did. And why wouldn't he? It's not like anything happened.

"Hey, mom." I hear Jared's voice as he enters the lounge.

"The little guy here told me." Susan says.

"Hey, sweetie. What are you doing here?" I ask giving him a hug. He was supposed to be at home with Jenny, his new baby-sitter.

"Jenny had a family emergency so she brought me here." He explains.

"Is everything alright?" I ask.

"I don't know. She didn't tell me what it was." He says shrugging his shoulders.

"Hey, Jared." John says entering the lounge and opening his locker. "What are you doing here little man?"

"My baby-sitter had a family emergency." Jared explains again.

"Oh, ok. Hey, Ab, are you off now?" he asks turning to me.

"Yeah." I say aware that Susan is listening to this conversation.

"Wanna grab a pizza with me and Jared here?" he asks winking at me.

"Oh, you two are going out for pizza, are you?" I say playing along.

"Can we go to McDonald's tonight instead?" Jared asks. "We already had pizza last night." Susan looks up at me with raised eyebrows at this.

"Fine with me." John says and he and Jared look back at me waiting for an answer.

"Sure." I say with a small smile. They high five each other. "But on one condition." They stop celebrating and look back at me. "You, little guy, have to be in bed by 9pm. You have school tomorrow." John checks the time on his watch.

"It's only 6pm. We have plenty of time. C'mon, Jar." He says picking Jared up and putting him on his shoulders. "Hold tight. C'mon, Abby." He says reaching out his hand to me. Susan looks from his hand to me and then back to his hand with a smirk on her face.

"I'll be right out." I say. John nods and leaves with Jared.

"I want details tomorrow." Susan says excited.

"There's nothing going on, Suse." I say. I'm telling the truth. There's nothing official going on.

"Yeah right. We'll see about that tomorrow." She says grinning and leaves the lounge.

* * *

The play are at McDonald's is completely full. I don't understand. It's Monday. Shouldn't these kids be at home doing homework or still tired from playing with their friends all weekend? Of course not. Just like my 6-year-old, they are like the Energizer Bunny. They just keep going and going and going. They have this endless energy. It's unbelievable.

John and I are sitting on a booth enjoying our sandwiches and laughing over stupid jokes. It's amazing how comfortable I feel when I'm with him. He is telling me about this creepy patient he saw today when Jared comes running towards us.

"Having fun, baby?" I ask as he takes a big sip of his Coke.

"Yeah, it's really cool, mom!" he says excited and runs off again to the play area. Suddenly he stops, turns around and runs back to us.

"What is it, hun?" I ask. He looks worried.

"Mom, dad's here." He says quietly. Shit. What the hell is he doing here? He never comes to McDonald's.

"Where?" I ask trying to stay calm. John looks at me worried.

"Right there." He motions with his head indicating that Richard is behind him. I look over and see him staring at us with a look of pure jealousy on his face. Our eyes meet for a second and I look away quickly. Out of the corner of my eye I see him coming to us. I look at John worried.

"Mom, I don't want to talk to him." Jared says.

"Don't worry, baby. Everything's ok." I say. John finds my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Jared sits next to me as Richard approaches us.

"Hi, Abby."

* * *

A/N: I know, I know... I don't update in forever and when I do I give u a cliffhanger... I'm a really bad person... lol u see that cute lil button down there. I know its calling ur name... just click on it and tell me what you think.


	7. First

A/N: wow another chapter in less than a week! I'm shocked with myself! see, that's what your wonderful reviews do to me. They really make my day!

**Chapter 7 – First**

I knew this day was just too good to be true. Something had to happen ruin it. And that something happens to be my jealous ex-husband who's eyeing John with a look of pure hatred on his face.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. He looks at me for a second.

"Nothing. I was hungry and decided to get something to eat. And to my surprise, who do I find here but my wife and my son with another man." He says with a tinge of sarcasm in his voice. I roll my eyes at him.

"Ok, first of all, I'm not your wife anymore. And second, I don't owe you any explanation about my life since we're no longer married." I say calmly.

On the inside I'm so angry that I have to control myself not to beat the crap out of him. I mean, what is it gonna take to get through his thick skull that I'm not his damn property?

"You do owe me an explanation since you brought my son along on your date!" he says angrily. Oh, now he's really pushed the wrong button by trying to drag Jared into this whole mess.

"Did you notice that you claim that Jared is your son and that you have rights over him as a father, but since the moment you got here, you haven't even said hi to him? What kind of crappy father are you that you don't even knowledge your own son's presence? And that's not the only thing. You don't even call him to see how he's doing or just to let him know that he has a dad and that you care about him. You don't give a damn about him, so quit claiming rights over him because you don't have any!" I say getting angrier and angrier. Richard looks at me speechless. I feel Jared's little hand squeezing mine and a smile makes its way to my face as we watch Richard walk away. John breaks the silence after a few minutes.

"I'm proud of you." He says smiling. I smile back. "You stood up to him."

"I did." I say with a grin feeling proud of myself.

"You were awesome, mom." Jared says kissing my cheek.

"C'mon, let's get out of here. It's getting late." I say. We gather our stuff and leave the place. I'm holding Jared's hand when I feel John's hand on mine. We walk hand in hand to his car when I let go of his hand to get Jared inside of the car.

The ride is quiet because Jared falls asleep as soon as the car starts moving. When we get home, I go ahead to open the door as John gets my son out of the car.

"You can put him on the couch." I say as we go in the house. After settling Jared on the living room John gets back to the front door where I'm taking my jacket off and throwing it in the closet near the entrance.

"I had a great time, John. Thank you." I say shyly.

"Me too. Thanks for your company." He says smiling and I'm suddenly aware that he's leaning in, our faces only an inch apart. "I'm proud of you." He says and then his lips meet mine.

It's like the whole world has disappeared and there are only us in the universe. I can feel the adrenaline running wildly through my body. I have butterflies in my stomach. This is even better than I could've ever imagined. His lips are so soft and his kiss is so tender. I barely feel his hands on my waist pulling me closer to him as his tongue begs entrance to my mouth which I soon give in. The moment our tongues meet, I feel a new wave of adrenaline as I put my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. I'm thinking that this is how I want to spend the rest of my life when something brings me back to reality.

"Mommy?" I hear my little boy calling me from the living room. I break our kiss and keep my eyes closed for a minute, just enjoying the moment.

"What is it, baby?" I call back to my son. My eyes are locked on John's as we smile giddily at each other.

"I'm thirsty!" Jared yells back.

"I'll be right there." I call back. John is caressing my cheek with his thumb smiling sweetly at me. "Are you on tomorrow?" I ask in a whisper.

"Yeah." He says kissing me again. "Are you?" he asks now kissing my neck.

"Uh-huh." It's all I manage to say before his lips are on mine again.

"Good." He says resting his forehead on mine. "You better go see what the little guy wants."

"Good night." I say pulling him down to another kiss.

"Good night." He says between kisses. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll see you tomorrow." I say finally letting go of him. I watch as he walks to his car with a silly grin on my face.

I imagined this moment over and over in my mind but this was a million times better. I close the door and lean on it taking a deep breath. Now I can't wait until tomorrow.

* * *

A/N: I know it's short but this seemed the perfect place to end the chapter... tell me what ya all think!


	8. Talking Things Out

**_A/N: First of all, I'd like to apologize for this ridiculous long time I took to post this chapter. To be honest, with all the stress of graduating, and then waiting for results and starting college, I kinda forgot about this fic. I had this chapter ready for months and I found it today and decided to post it. So I'm sorry I took so long. Hope you'll forgive me. And this is a long chapter too, thought you guys would like that. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews I got. You guys rock! Enjoy the chapter._**

**_Starting Over_**

_**Chapter 8 – Talking things out**_

I seem to be daydreaming a lot today. I've been on for two hours now and I just can't concentrate. My mind is constantly traveling back to last night. Susan and Sam looking suspiciously at me from behind the admit desk.

"Abby" I hear Sam's voice as she snaps her fingers in front of me bringing me back to reality.

"Yeah?" I say shaking my head slightly trying to get John out of my mind.

"Are you ok?" Sam asks.

"Yeah." She looks at me with raised eyebrows. "I'm fine."

"So did you and Carter have fun last night?" Susan asks with a grin.

"Yeah, it was nice." I say trying to end the inquisition at that.

"Last night?" Sam asks interested.

"Yeah, she went out with Carter last night." Susan says, her grin wider.

"Really?" Sam says, a smile playing on her lips.

"We took Jared to McDonald's. nothing happened." I say rather snappish.

"Ok, if you say so, Ab." Sam says quietly. I think they got the message that I don't want to talk about it.

"Hey, you know you can talk to us, right?" Susan says.

"Yeah, you can talk to us about anything. We're your friends." Sam says. Ok, now I feel guilty I sort of lost my temper with them.

"I know that. I'm sorry I snapped at you. It's just…" I stop halfway through the sentence when I see John coming through the doors. His eyes find mine and he smiles at me. A little smile plays on my lips.

"Just what?" Susan asks. I see John going to the lounge.

"Nothing." I say picking up a chart. We'll talk later, ok? I have to get back to work." I say trying to get this silly smile off my face.

"Sure." Susan says. I go to Curtain 3 trying not to think about Carter.

* * *

"Ok, Mr. Wilson, we'll take some of your blood to run some tests." I say writing on the chart. Mr. Wilson nods. Behind me someone opens the door.

"Dr. Lockhart?" A smile comes to my lips as I turn around and see John at the door. "Can I talk to you after you finish here?" he asks.

"I've already finished." I say getting up. I turn to the patient. "I'll be by later to check on you Mr. Wilson. I say following John out of the room. He takes my hand and leads me to an empty exam room.

"Hi." He says after locking the door behind us. He pulls me to him, arms around my waist. I smile up at him and kiss his lips softly.

"Hi." I say. "Thought you weren't coming on anymore. What took you so long?"

"I was on at 10." He says with a smile. "Why, you missed me?"

"Of course not. Why would I?" I say teasing him. He kisses me again, deeply this time. I feel the ground disappear from under my feet. I break the kiss after a while breathless. "Ok, maybe I did miss you a little bit." He laughs.

"How about we go out to dinner tonight?" he asks as I rest my had on his chest.

"Tonight?" I ask. He nods.

"I don't have a sitter and Susan and Sam are both pulling doubles."

"Damn."

"How about having dinner at my place tonight? I'll cook." I say grinning. "And Jared sleeps early so we can watch a movie or something after he goes to bed."

"Ok, sounds good. What time should I be there?" he asks.

"Around 7?" I suggest.

"Alright." He says kissing my neck. "Rain check on dinner?"

"Sure. This weekend ok?

"Uh-huh." He says as he proceeds on kissing my neck.

* * *

"Mom?" I turn around and see Jared on the door.

"Yeah, Jar?" I ask. He enters the kitchen and sits on the table. I check the food one last time and turn off the oven.

"Is Dr Carter coming here tonight?" he asks.

"Yes, he is." I say and our conversation seems to end at that. Jared stays silent for a while, thinking about something apparently. I go over to the fridge and get a bottle of water out.

"Mom?" Jared asks again.

"Yes?" I say taking a sip.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks shyly.

"Sure, baby. Is there anything bugging you?"

"Not really." He says shaking his head.

"What is it then?" I ask pulling a chair to sit in front of him.

"Is Dr Carter your boyfriend?" I almost choke on the water I was drinking. I don't say anything for a minute. What am I supposed to say? "Mom?"

"I don't know for sure yet, honey." He nods and seems to accept my answer. "Would it be ok with you if he was my boyfriend?"

He shrugs. "I guess so." He says. "I like him."

"Do you?"

"Yeah and besides, he's a lot nicer than dad." He gets up and makes his way to the door. "Hey, mom?" I look at him. "Are you guys gonna get married?" I smile

"I don't know, sweetie." He nods.

"Alright. I was just wondering that it'd be nice to have a real dad for a change." He says and runs to the leaving room to watch tv leaving me with my thoughts.

* * *

The conversation I had with Jared really got me thinking. Especially what he said about John and me getting married. I guess he really misses having a dad around. And I feel bad now because I had never realized how much my little boy needs a male figure to look up to. He's never had one in his life, not with his bastard, good for nothing of a father.

Now about my relationship with John. Jared's question caught me off guard and made me wonder if there is a relationship at all. Ok, scratch that. There is a relationship. I like him a lot and am highly attracted to him and I think the feeling is mutual. I can see it in his eyes. But now the question is where is this relationship going? Because I really want it to last.

The door bell rings echoing through the house, bringing me back to reality. I take a quick look at the mirror and then run to get the door.

"Hi." I say happily. John smiles at me as I step aside to let him in. He leans in and kisses me lightly.

"Hey." He says just as Jared runs into the room.

"Dr Carter!" he yells jumping on John.

"Hey there, little man. How are you doing?" John asks picking him up.

"Great! Guess what! I'm gonna have a field trip to the museum next week!"

"Really? That's really cool, Jar." John says enthusiastically. "I'm sure you'll have a great time."

I watch the two of them interact with each other and it makes me wonder if that's what it would be like if Carter was Jared's dad. The thought brings a smile to my face.

"Penny for you thoughts." I hear John whisper in my ear as his arms encircle my waist. I look up at him and realize that Jared is not even in the room anymore.

"Oh, it's nothing. Where's Jared?" I ask moving out of his embrace. I take his hand and lead him to the kitchen.

"He went to his room to get this remote car that you got him for his birthday." He says pulling a chair.

"I didn't even see him going to his room." I chuckle shaking my head.

"Well. You were miles away." He teases me. I hit him lightly on the back of his head. "Hey!"

"How was the rest of your shift?" I only worked a half shift today.

"Hectic." He says leaning his head back, running a hand through his hair. "Major MVA. Truck versus school bus. A tragedy really.

"Wow. Thank God I wasn't there." I say. "You want a soda?"

"Sure." He says and I hand him a Coke. "It was horrible. Three DOA's, two died in the ER and four are still critical. Most of them are kids." He says sadly. I take his hand in mine and smile at him.

"We save who we can, right?" I say trying to comfort him. It's even harder to deal with these deaths when there are kids involved.

"Here it is, Dr Carter." Jared says showing John this red car I got him.

Jared drags John to the living room to play XboX and I follow them. I lean on the door and just watch them play and have fun together. I guess tonight is gonna go really well.

* * *

_**A/N: Love it? Hate it? Tell me all about it when you review.**_


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